i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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