i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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