I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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