you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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