Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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