I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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