We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
