You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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