I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
COCAINE IS GR8
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize