After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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