i will never coherently bang her
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
