He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
This toilet bowl is my home.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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