if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
