I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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