Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
