it's too hot outside to masturbate.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
