Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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