I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
