I'm eating all of the evidence.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
