This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
