What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
