She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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