is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
