There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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