We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
