I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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