okay pat passed out under dana's car
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
