STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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