My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
