We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
