I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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