It's Friday. Sex?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
