I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
