Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
