I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
