Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
