Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
How naked do you want me to be?
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