I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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