Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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