I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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