I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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