she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
