I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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