Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
