apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
