you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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