I'm really into asian looking animals
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
