If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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