I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
