Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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