I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I touched a dick in church today
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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