I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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