You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
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I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
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u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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