i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
