For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
