Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
