i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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