He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
